Over the past few months, my shoulder issues have gotten worse, to the point where my upper back is now being greatly affected. It has gotten so bad that I can hardly use my dominant arm without pain, and must use a heating pad multiple times per day. I have also been using tiger balm to help ease symptoms, although it doesn’t fix the problem. A few weeks ago, I went to the orthopedist, and they told me that there’s nothing that can be done because of my EDS. A labral repair would be unsuccessful and require further repairs, which would lead to more problems. A shoulder replacement or fusion may be possible, but not at any of the three offices that I’ve been seen at since moving to Texas. No one wants to even touch me because of my condition. This last doctor literally told me to simply stop using my arm so much, that way the problems will slow, and I might be able to use my shoulder for a little longer. Stop using my dominant arm? Sure… Easy. Ughhhhh. While I understand their hesitation to help someone who is such a liability, I will never understand their inability or lack of desire to help someone that is so obviously in need. They see me suffering, yet refused to help, and I’m the one that has to deal with the consequences. It’s not just frustrating, it’s disappointing, and sad. When I look at the state of my life, and the prospect of my future, sometimes I wonder how long I can continue this fight. Because that’s what it is: It’s a fight every single day. With my body, with doctors, with strangers… And sometimes I don’t want to fight anymore.
But today is not the day that I will give up.
I’m going to continue to seek help from anybody that I can find. I’m looking into Eastern medicine, and have been trying all sorts of homeopathic remedies. I also asked my spine surgeon if there’s anything that he can suggest to ease my back pain, even though the culprit is my shoulder. He gave me some exercises to try, and may give me an injection to help with the process. I’ll take what I can get. In the meantime, I have been using my arm less. For example, all of this has been written using voice to text, and I haven’t updated anything in a while because I’ve been trying to recuperate from both this new pain, and my sacroiliac joint dysfunction for which I recently had a rhizotomy. Hopefully soon I will be having a fusion surgery for my SI, and until then I will continue trying to heal my shoulder, and search for a more permanent solution — and a doctor willing to help.
I have also started a TikTok page for my chronic illness journey, if you wish to follow. You can find me @cutewithouttheeds. Thanks for sticking with me, and I will try to do better about updating this blog moving forward.
Far From Perfect 